Kaitlyn Goldsmith, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychology, Sexuality & Relationship Researcher

June 25, 2017

The idea of swinging, wife-swapping, open relationships, and any form of non-monogamy are enough to induce moral outrage for many people. Interest in these activities counter some of our most basic cultural views touting monogamy as the most desirable sexual arrangement out there. However, more and more couples are exploring the world of “consensual non-monogamy”, which allows for sexual activity and romantic involvement outside of their primary relationship. In fact, about 3-5% of people classify their relationship as such1. Can these types of relationships really work? Do Will Smith and Jada really have it all figured out?

We know that engaging in sexual activity outside of one’s relationship when your partner doesn’t know and wouldn’t approve (i.e., cheating) is not a good move. In fac...

May 12, 2017

We all want to have better, more passionate relationships. Luckily, psychology is here to help! Psychology has a reputation for focusing on "fixing" problems like mental illness, couples’ disputes, and problem behaviours. However, the absence of these issues does not always mean the presence of positive ones. There is something in the middle, a “neutral” zone. As humans, however, many of us want to live in the “happy” zone of our career, relationships, and life in general. We want to be better than neutral, and want to know how to get there. Recently, psychologists have caught onto this desire, and have begun to explore questions in the realm of “positive psychology”1, the study of behaviours and states of mind that contribute to happiness and well-being.

Based on principles of positive p...

March 30, 2017

We all have options. We have options for which dating app to use, which TV show to binge watch, and which website to order our new Kate Spade purse from. But with these options all at our fingertips, do we end up just going with what we know and doing what we always do? What if we start to use this default mode to choose our partners? Or to stay with the one we’re with? Are we settling?

Settling. It’s an ugly word, sure to invite feelings of lacking and not measuring up. And sorry ladies, unfortunately, the fear of settling and the competing fear of being alone is more often associated with women than men. This is because our society is still hung up on destructive myths suggesting that women are somehow incomplete without involvement in a romantic relationship (insert feminist rant here)...

February 10, 2017

Have you complimented your partner’s looks recently? Maybe you had an unfortunate blunder when your partner asked, “Does this make me look fat?” Maybe you haven’t said anything directly, but your tone of voice or gestures were loud and clear?!  (Translation:  “Uhhhh, yeah, sure does.”)

Do these little everyday things that partners say about one another’s bodies actually have an impact? What really happens when your significant other says something negative (or positive) about your body? Could these messages have an impact on your sex life? These were the questions that lead us to ask 35 men and 57 women about the messages they have received from their romantic partners about their bodies and how they feel those messages have affected them.  These men and women wrote about the most me...

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